Monday, May 08, 2006

Poetic Thugs, They All Need Hugs (How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love K.O.B.E...failing.)

Looks like now Kobe really does have bigger fish to fry than Raja Bell. Real fish, because he and the Lakers have GOOOONE FISHIN' BABY!
I'm will Bill Simmons on ending all Jordan comparisons right effing now. Currently, Kobe is a healthier version of Vince Carter. Jordan was a competitor (he's probably swatting kids in some basketball camp right now), Kobe is a quitter (he's probably turning over a Parker Brother's board game right now, and stealing the pieces so no one can play. Ever again.)

Jordan with his team down a gillion points would done anything he could possibly do (read: shooting and getting to the line) to get his team back into the game. Kobe, being the square that he is, decided to do more things as a team.

One assist that won't show up in his stat column (coulda doubled his total for the game) was passing the beating that Phoenix layed down on Kobe to the rest of his team and MAN was it a DIME! 3 shots huh? He basically tried to throw Lamar Odom under the bus and put Smush, Kwame and Sasha on blast. Mamba thought he was slick, he thought we would see that he had NO help on his team to make it inconceivable he could have been even a little responsible for choking away three straight games.

Kobe underestimated real hoop fans who don't see, they observe. We got the dirt on you patna, lets go to the Game 7 stats.

R. Bell - 5-7
L. Barbosa - 10-12
S. Marion - 6-13
T. Thomas- 6-10
B. Diaw- 8 -14

Employee number 8, logging over 43 minutes, was guarding one or all of these guys at some point during the game. Laker fans will jump up and be like "NO HE WASN'T!". You know what???? We're both right! Kobe got lit up by almost everyone he guarded, in fact in the last 3 games of this sweet series all of his defensive assignments shot better that 50% from the field on him. So maybe instead of all that post game fist pumping, nipple showing and psycho-analysis of opponents, Kobe should have been watching tape on why he was getting his ass lit up.

Truth is in order for Kobe to be the "Greatest" (LOL) needs another player on his team in addition to Lamar Odom probably Chris Bosh OS X (you read it here second, you read it on rosco's post first). Another truth is, that Laker fans are soooo organized in their "Kobe is the best" B.S. that this addition will likely brainwash everyone into making Jordan comparisons all over again making Bosh OS X Kobe's Horace Grant.

I think $hort said it best, "There ain't nothin' worth kickin like a sucka MC." and right now employee number 8 is as sucka as they come.

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