|Hell is freezing over. Pigs can fly. I can pass calculus.|
I am rooting for a Boston team. More specifically, I am rooting for the Boston Celtics - otherwise known as the second most inocuous Boston pro franchise. So, really, it's not THAT bad (I like to tell myself).
This gets me thinking, if I am rooting FOR a Boston team, what then, could be bad enough to root against. Yep, the Lakers. For those that don't know - the Lakers are a bunch of sole-sucking, bandwagon fan having, pretentiously coached bunch of overachievers with one legitimate star (sorry Pau, add an extra consenant to your name, and we'll talk - but you're still a one-move exploiter with no defensive skills).
Oh, and that one legitimate star that you have - he's a bitch. He makes faked videos, has spotty defensive skills (ball hawk? sure. On ball defender? Um, sorry, not quite.), and bills himself as the next Michael Jordan. Guess what though, Kobe? No one really hated Michael Jordan.
The short of it is, these finals suck (see my post two years ago on the "fabulous" Miami/Dallas finals - where are those teams now?).
Here's why you need to root for Boston:
Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett - these guys have seen better days, but, let's give them one before they walk off into the sunset.
Rajon Rondo - I sort of pity a starting point guard that has made SO many mistakes, yet somehow stumbled his way into the finals. Wait, did I say pity, I meant despise.
Paul Pierce - for no real reason except, well, if Antoine Walker has a ring, Pierce should (maybe that'll keep him from sitting out ends of seasons).
Kendrick Perkins - actually, he pretty much sucks, and it'd be a shame for him to win a ring.
Scott Pollard - he'll do something with that ring.
Now, the reasons the Lakers should win:
Have you been paying attention? The Lakers as an organization suck - they are pure evil. If they win, the zen-minded, Hans Gruberesque coach joins the ranks of Red Auerbach. For shame! Kobe wins without Shaq. Holy Bitchfest, Batman! Pau Gasol gets an NBA ring to add to ... don't even mention it - he sucks on so many levels. Bill Walton's son gets a ring. WTF?
This cannot happen.
And I take a deep breath when I say this -