Leave 'Sheed Alone, You Retarded Zebras!

Oh boy, am I steamed! I had tried to put it behind me, hoped that it would improve. It hasn't. I would like to extend a middle foam finger to the guys (and girls) in black and white. Officials in sports are getting worse. Actually, they are getting dumber, blinder, and more corrupt. You would think at least that one of those could be easily rectified thanks to modern science and some well-placed lasers. However, at this point, I would rather the lasers be used to burn a goddamn hole in those referee douchebags. Can we make bad calls a capitol punishment? Bad officiating has long run rampant, but only recently has it become unbelievably excruciating. Now there are three possible causes for this - let's go to the tape: 1. I am getting older, and hence, more crotchety. 2. Officials are relying too much on technology, other officials. 3. Steve Javie. Right off we can throw #1 right out the f-in window. F anyone who thinks so, bastards. Let's just get a fair game, you terd-bombs. The second option sure is plausible, f-in irresponsible adults. Make the calls, balls-less! Or, if you are one of the few female officials out there, grow a couple! The third, well come on. You figure it out. I'm a Blazers fan. I'm a Rasheed Wallace fan. I am not a Javie fan. You put that jigsaw together, dumbass. Whether it's the Superbowl, the NBA playoffs, or friggin' Serie A soccer over in Italia, you've got officials that probably would be shot in more open-thinking countries. I'm not going to go into major detail about the whole Juventus scandal - let's just say that it doesn't help the officials' cause - nor does it help the cause of sports owners (don't get me started!). Need I mention the Superbowl? I felt I was pretty partisan for the game, but I was pretty sure those refs were sitting pretty in their jacuzzis full of hundred-dollar bills courtesy Tagliabue after that debacle. No East Coast Bias, my ass (don't get me started!). How about these NBA playoffs? Does anyone get the idea that the Association of National Basketball is catering a little bit to its most marketable star? Is it a coincidence that this league, a monarchy if there ever was one, might be skimming a little on the side on behalf of their King James? Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe it is all a ploy to get a star-run team further into the playoffs and leave the ultimate team-run team behind. If I was Detroit, I would gather up the entire arsenal from 8-Mile and pay a little visit to league headquarters, with only the most honorable intentions in mind, I *swear*. But seriously though, this is how bad officiating has been. Leagues have now instituted instant replay. Superficially, this says to the average George McIdiot that now calls will be backed up and reviewable - nothing bad will EVER happen. Ask any Alexander Sports-A-Lot about how this has worked to this point and he'll tell you it's just a major heap of horse stool. In turn, sports videogames now have to substitute their never-fail officiating for more "realistic" officials that F calls up on a regular basis. Sure, everyone is a bit fallible, but how about we as a sports community stand up and tell these douchebags that they're not the only ones out there. Communicate you SoB's. Get your story straight, and stop T'ing up 'Sheed. Santa H. Claus! I mean, it's two thousand F-in six. Aren't we supposed to have flying cars by now? Can we at least get some roboreferees in there? Do we still have to employ these inept flesh pods? Let's get failed OCP project ED-209 on the scene. You know he wouldn't take any sass! He might even "accidentally" terminate some of the more whiney players. Not to mention he would definitely take care of all those "fan" douchebags who jump into the field of play. Don't get me started!